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Embracing All Parts of You: What You See vs Who You Are with Annemarie Shrouder (Episode #63)

Annemarie Shrouder is passionate about creating healthy workplace communities where people feel seen, heard and valued – and can thrive.

To advocate for change, Annemarie facilitates engaging, dynamic and interactive presentations with the goal to help audiences think differently about diversity, to understand the importance of inclusion, and inspire the creation of healthy workplace communities.

Annmarie’s signature methodology is called the ‘ABCs of Inclusion’ and works on two premises – that inclusion is an outcome and that leadership has to “get it” and build their capacity first, in order for change to be effective.

She believes strategy drives change and helps solidify commitment to diversity and inclusion and one of her strategic writings includes her best-selling book, Being Brown in a Black and White World.

So dive in, get your ‘Aha moment’ for the day, and let’s learn about embracing all parts of you: BOTH what you see AND who you are!

Resources Mentioned:




Connect with Annemarie on LinkedInTwitter, and Facebook. To affect change in diversity and inclusion from the inside out visit https://annemarieshrouder.com/ and join in on the conversation.

*On December 2nd, your home for hope and personal path to more joy and less fear, will open with the launch of The Goodness Exchange! No one with good intentions and good ideas needs to feel alone ever again. The Goodness Exchange will be bringing out our BEST impulses as individuals and amplifying our collective genius!

Conspiracy of Goodness Links:

[00:01 – 7:59] Opening Segment
  • I introduce Annemarie Shrouder
    • Bio
  • Annemarie shares a bit about her background and revelations
    • How she started her career as an elementary school teacher
    • Active member of the LBTQ+ community
    • A glaring need for people to see themselves in other things
    • Working with organizations to help them realize how they view the world
    • ‘Aha moment’ – when people understand we are in the same situation
    • We all have different experiences
  • What needs to be changed in our perspective
    • It’s ok to see color, gender and identity
    • Look at the way kids can see glaring differences
    • We seem to learn to ascribe value to people
[08:00 – 25:37] Embracing All Parts of You: What You See vs Who You Are
  • Annemarie reveals how every part of who you are is important
    • A poem from Annemarie’s book
      • “… as if these can’t coexist: being and loving.”
      • “How can you love ME, if you don’t see my brown skin?”
    • You don’t need to fear devaluing someone based on noticing race
  • Race isn’t real, but the impact of racism is
    • Annemarie talks about her lived experience search for belonging
    • Race was constructed based on someone’s decision
    • The impact of that teaching is that we now separate ourselves
    • It’s just DNA
      • “… Connects me with everyone in a DNA dance.”
    • I am not more or less based on race, “I am just me”
  • Annemarie talks about her poetry and writing process
    • A path to greater self-acceptance and understanding
    • Words are the quickest way to someone’s heart
  • Bring out the best in humanity and amplify our future on theThe Goodness Exchange
    • More information on how you can join in below
[25:38 –  41:42] Living in the ‘Both, And’ Space
  • Annemarie shares how we don’t have to divide into them and us
    • Feeling like you have to choose between races
    • When we polarize we begin to create barriers
    • “I am BOTH black, I am white, AND I am me”
    • There is room and space for us to learn, listen and share with each other
  • How do we get to the point of living in ‘both, and’?
    • Is it true? – challenging your assumptions
    • How do I know it’s true?
    • What if it’s not true? – accept that there are thing you don’t know
    • Pause, get out of the autopilot, and ask these questions
  • I give my own practical tips of pausing before responding
    • How this revelation can impact inclusion and belonging in the workplace
    • Our stories affect who we include in the workplace
    • It takes pausing and asking questions to our assumptions
    • Are you seeing the person in front of you?
    • This can apply to age and sexual orientation just as much of race
    • A look at the viewpoint of Neurodiversity
    • We miss out when we don’t accept something because they don’t come out a certain way
[41:43 – 50:30] Perception’s Struggle with Self-Identification 
  • Annemarie answers a few interesting questions related to diversity and racism
    • Why is Barack Obama identified as the ‘first black president?’
      • Perception vs. self-identification
      • The One Drop rule – how history affects us today
    • How does the One Drop rule play into US law and how does that affect us?
      • When things are physically written down, they can’t be ignored
      • It’s an opportunity to research and see the effects for yourself
    • Do you see any possibility of us realizing race as a construct?
      • Look for the ‘oneness’ – what connects us?
      • We all need the same things
[50:31 – 58:22] Closing Segment
  • Working at the pace of guidance
    • If you go to fast then you may miss beautiful things
    • Going to slow won’t change anything
    • Make room for guidance and, “be willing to take the pause”
    • Listen or consider, and maybe course correct
    • The only thing you can change is yourself
    • “What is in this for me?”
  • What we do next
    • Practice awareness – practice the pause
    • Be curious about the stories of others
    • Research the implications of history
    • Come to interactions with openness and humility
  • How to connect with Annemarie
  • Links below
  • Final announcements
  • notes

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