What Dogs Teach Us About Life — with Master Storyteller Tom Schlesinger (Episode #238)
What if the antidote to stress, overthinking, and constant mental chatter has been quietly walking beside us all along? Today we have a conversation with Tom Schlesinger, a master storyteller, consultant to the likes of Pixar, LucasFilms and Disney, on quieting the noise, returning to the body, and rediscovering joy – all through the lens of how dogs can remind us how to lead our best lives.
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About Our Guest:
Tom Schlesinger opened our conversation with one of those sentences that seems almost too simple to take seriously at first glance—until you realize it contains an entire philosophy of being human.
“The way to quiet mental chatter,” he said, “is by remembering we’re mammals—and we can learn how to do it from our dogs.”
I laughed, because Tom has a way of offering profound ideas with an easy shrug, as if he’s simply reminding you of something you already knew. And then, just as quickly, I felt the deeper recognition land; because somewhere between deadlines, devices, expectations, and the constant low-grade hum of worry, many of us have drifted into lives lived mostly from the neck up.
What does that mean? We narrate our days. We rehearse conversations that never happen. We replay old moments, forecast imaginary futures, and judge ourselves mercilessly along the way. Buddhists call it the “monkey mind.” Tom calls it “monkey chatter.” I usually call it mental chatter. Whatever the name, it’s that running commentary that convinces us we are behind, not enough, or about to get something wrong.
Tom offered a gentle but radical reframe: if you want to quiet that noise, don’t start by thinking harder. Start by remembering what kind of creature you are.
What Dogs Know About Being Human: The Body as a Lie Detector
One of the most grounding insights Tom shared is that our inner voices—especially the loud, critical ones—are often unreliable narrators. They tend toward self-criticism or projection, and more often than not, they’re simply not telling the truth.
If that’s the case, we need a way to discern when our thinking has gone off the rails; Tom’s answer is the body.
Your body doesn’t just carry stress; it communicates wisdom. When your shoulders tighten, your jaw clenches, your breath becomes shallow, or your hands fidget, your system is offering feedback. It’s saying, This story you’re telling yourself isn’t helping. It may not even be true.
Dogs never override that feedback. They don’t reason themselves out of what they feel. What they do is pause, adjust, shake it off—literally—and move on. Watching a dog release stress from the tip of its tail to the end of its nose is like witnessing a masterclass in nervous system regulation.
Tom emphasized that this pursuit of listening to your body’s stress signals isn’t about achieving perfect presence; it’s about learning how to return. He quoted the founder of Aikido, who was once asked how he managed to stay in the moment all the time:
“I’m not in the moment all the time. You just don’t see how fast I come back.”
That, Tom explained, is the real practice: not spiritual heroics; not flawlessness; just a quicker, kinder return home.
From Conquest to Connection: A Different Kind of Journey
As the conversation unfolded, we found ourselves circling a powerful distinction: the difference between living in conquest mode and living in connection. Many of us—especially those raised to perform, compete, or prove ourselves—have been trained in a version of the hero’s journey that prizes endurance and outward success: Push through. Achieve. Win. Keep going.
Tom offered a different lens: the heroine’s journey. A journey, much like the hero’s journey, so often pushes those values above; a softer, more feminine version that isn’t about retreat or giving up, but instead about turning inward rather than always charging forward. It’s about reconnecting with the body, with intuition, with community, and with what feels true rather than merely impressive.
This isn’t a gendered idea. It’s a choice available to all of us. You can walk into the same workday, the same meeting, the same family gathering—and experience it as a conquest to survive or a space for connection. Dogs model this beautifully. They don’t enter a room fixated on one perceived threat or point of tension—they take in the whole environment: they read energy; they sense tone. They notice what’s happening beyond the obvious. Their awareness is wide, not narrow.
Imagine bringing that same wide-angle awareness into a difficult conversation. Instead of bracing for what someone might say, you notice the room, your breath, your body, the larger context. When you do that, the experience shifts immediately.
Stress, Time, and the Tyranny of “Not Enough”
One of the most quietly powerful moments in our conversation came when Tom shared a line from the poet John O’Donohue:
“Stress is a perverse relationship with time.”
Once you hear that, it’s hard to unhear it. So much of what stresses us has a time component woven through it—waiting for results, running late, feeling behind, worrying that life is moving too fast or that we won’t get to what matters most.
Dogs don’t live under that tyranny. They don’t wake up thinking there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it. They live inside natural cycles—morning light, afternoon warmth, evening dark. While we can’t opt out of clocks and calendars entirely, we can notice when time becomes the bully in our inner narrative.
A simple, practical question can help: Is this stress really about what’s happening right now, or is it about my relationship with time? Even asking that question can soften the grip.
A Simple Practice You Can Use Today
If all of this feels rich but abstract, Tom offers practices that are refreshingly tangible. The most fundamental is breath. A full, conscious inhale and exhale brings you back into your body faster than almost anything else. Add movement—standing up, walking, shaking out your arms—and the return becomes even more immediate.
And perhaps the most accessible practice of all: watch dogs. Sit at a dog park. Observe how they play, pause, reset, and belong without effort. There is something profoundly regulating about witnessing unselfconscious presence.
It’s difficult to stay cynical when you remember what you are.
You are not a brain on a stick. You are a mammal—built for connection, built for sensing, built for joy. And whether you realize it or not, your dog has been patiently teaching you this all along.
Perhaps the quiet revolution of our time is not thinking our way to peace—but remembering gently and often, how to hand up the leash and come back to the body that has always known the way home. The journey begins today, so let’s take a deep breath and learn how.
Referenced Thinkers, Books & Further Exploration
Myth, Story & Human Meaning
Joseph Campbell
Foundational thinker on myth and the Hero’s Journey
- Official site: josephcampbell.org
- Classic book: The Hero with a Thousand Faces
Jean Houston
Human potential pioneer and Campbell’s longtime collaborator
- Official site: jeanhouston.com
- Overview of her work
Maureen Murdoch
Expanded the Hero’s Journey through a feminine and integrative lens
- Book: The Heroine’s Journey
Presence, Wisdom & Perspective
Alan Watts
Philosopher who translated Eastern wisdom for Western audiences
John O’Donohue
Poet and philosopher of beauty, time, and belonging
- Official archive:johnodonohue.com
- Book: Anam Cara
Eckhart Tolle
Referenced for insights on presence and “the joy of Being”
- Official site: eckharttolle.com
- Book: The Power of Now
Science, Humanity & the Bigger Picture
Carl Sagan
Referenced for reframing progress as an inner evolution
Humor, Creativity & Imperfection
John Cleese
Referenced for embracing imperfection and creative freedom
Mark Twain
Referenced for reflections on dogs, hope, and character
- Mark Twain Project (UC Berkeley)
Slowing Down & Modern Life
Carl Honoré
Champion of the Slow Movement
Get Closer to the Good Life: Ditch the Fast Life with Carl Honoré (Episode #114)
- Official site: carlhonore.com
- TED Talk: In Praise of Slowness
Breath, Body & Physiology
James Nestor
Referenced for the science and practice of breathing
- CoG Episode: Breathe Better with James Nestor (Episode #12)
- Official site: mrjamesnestor.com
- Book: Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art
Books Referenced Culturally
- Be Here Now — Ram Dass
Chapters:
- 00:00 – Intro & Welcome
- 05:02 – Monkey Mind and Mental Chatter
- 07:22 – Storytelling Before Language
- 10:00 – Dogs, Humor, and Emotional Balance
- 14:30 – Remembering Dog Stories Brings Us Home
- 20:18 – Myth, Archetypes, and the Heroine’s Journey
- 31:09 – The Power of the Pause
- 32:40 – Presence, Time, and Stress
- 42:50 – Sensory Storytelling and the Body
- 47:20 – Break
- 49:37 – The Silent Evolution
- 01:12:35 – Perfectionism vs Creative Flow
- 01:28:39 – Returning to the Body and the Earth
