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The Leaders in Your Life are Not Who You Think with Drew Dudley (Episode #118)

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a timely bit of kindness from a stranger or received a compliment or word of encouragement at just the right moment, then you know how these seemingly small acts can lead to a lifetime of impact. Drew Dudley would call those moments “Everyday Leadership,” and he has some inspiring ideas about how we can all be leaders in the lives of others, right where we are. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply recognize someone else’s leadership.

Episode Highlights

About Our Guest:

Drew Dudley takes the loftiness out of the word “leadership” and makes it something we can all walk a little taller for. 

He is an internationally acclaimed leadership speaker/educator, a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, and one of the charter members of this Conspiracy of Goodness that we have been pointing to for many years now. 

Drew and I became friends many years ago when we wrote about an amazing TED Talk that he gave that now has over 6 million views. 

It is called “Everyday Leadership,” and is often referred to as the “lollipop moment” TED Talk. (Once you dive into it, you’ll know why, and that moniker will become a placeholder in your mind for inspiring moments in your own life.) 

Through much of Drew’s work he reminds us that “leadership” IS an everyday opportunity for all of us. He reminds us that there is leadership in kindness, patience, forgiveness, and activities like teaching, listening, and complimenting others. And best of all, it’s not solely about how we react. 

Turns out, we can actually create opportunities for leadership to shine, inspire others, and flourish in our daily lives both at home and at work. It’s not some quality for executives and people at the top of organizations. 

What Drew’s work has taught me is that we all have the power to lead in everyday moments. Now, I instinctively look for moments to celebrate and boost good intention and courage in others around me. 

I hear Drew’s wise, counter-intuitive stories playing in my head when I’m out and about in life, and I know I can plant small seeds of kindness as I go about my business. I now am quick to point out how people feel indispensable in my life and why. 

This interview and his first interview for the Conspiracy of Goodness Podcast can be transformational. 

Drew also wrote an amazing book called “This is Day One”, which can put you on a path to reaching new potential and feeling like you are experiencing a life well lived, no matter your circumstances. I have two copies of that book, one by my bedside and the other in my office, and both are full of annotations, exclamation points and sticky notes.

We can all be the one who thanks the cashier at the grocery store for their careful attention in bagging. We can be the one who publicly celebrates the work of the janitor at our kids’ school, and send our hairdresser a handwritten note telling them why we drive across town to see them. We can compliment the person washing the windows so expertly on main street and tell the neighbor kid how much we appreciate their careful, expert driving. 

It’s all Everyday Leadership.

Resources Mentioned:

The Best Leaders Don’t Know All The Answers with Drew Dudley (Episode #17)

I am excited to share with you my conversation with Drew Dudley, a renowned international leadership speaker, bestselling author, and the creator of the TED talk “Everyday Leadership (The Lollipop Moment).” Drew is known as a dynamic keynote speaker heard already by over 250,000 people across 5 continents.

Read Article Watch Video Listen to Podcast

Show Notes

(00:00- 04:37) OPENING

(04:38- 16:39)

  • BOOK: This is Day One
  • There’s no French word for “Leader” and “Leadership”
  • Leader and Leadership are new enough ideas that an entire ancient language does not contain it
  • The word “tweet” in 1980 would mean nothing
  • How a single word transforms the world around us
  • Cultural expectations are way more powerful than rules, policies, and procedures
  • We started to define leadership based on the byproducts, not on the actual behaviors
  • Certain things start to happen when systems start to encode themselves
  • People with power and influence want to actively make sure that other people have less
  • The little things that matter

(16:40- 33:42)

  • The influencers
  • The epidemic of mental health problems
  • Our brain is not designed to handle empathy, concern and love for millions of people at the same time
  • How do we manage to live in a village and in a widely interconnected internet world at the same time?
  • Forgive ourselves for having physical, intellectual and emotional capacity 
  • Aaron Sorkin
  • How long is a million seconds?
  • There is no world, there are just a billion understandings of it
  • Neil “The Grass” Tyson
  • Good leaders leave their values whenever they get the chance, but great leaders create those opportunities

(33:43- 45:49)

  • Leadership and catalyst
  • Every catalyst is a leader, but not every leader is a catalyst
  • Elon Musk
  • Donald Trump
  • Attilâ İlhan
  • Adolf Hitler
  • Ideas that are thoughtful and measured
  • Jordan Peterson
  • Neville Chamberlain

(45:50- 59:01)

  • The Leadership Test
  • The word “test”
  • The only test that defines who you is the test you choose to give yourself
  • The human brain hates unanswered questions
  • Six core values: impact, growth, courage, empowerment, class, and self-respect
  • Six questions tied with six core values
  • Prioritizing our to-be list at the same level as our to-do list
  • If 100% of your obligations on a given day are obligations to other people, you’re living a life of obligations
  • A life of service is empowering and sustainable
  • We’re not always in charge of what we get to do everyday, but we’re always in charge of who we are

(59:02- 01:02:06) BREAK

(01:02:07- 01:20:02)

  • Happiness has to be cultivated
  • Ted Lasso
  • The GOAT- Greatest of all Time
  • Uber driver story- strength has to be cultivated
  • Difference between strength and happiness
  • Podcast
  • Humility is not denying what makes you amazing, humility is recognizing that what makes you amazing doesn’t make you better than other people

(01:20:03- 01:41:58)

  • Kids and leadership
  • What you ask your kids after school is just as important as what they are asked in school
  • We promote what we permit
  • Introverts and leadership
  • Introverts are so emotionally intelligent
  • Extroverts
  • Leadership is making someone else the center of your attention
  • Escalate/elevate
  • The former student story
  • Elevating the situation means I want to succeed, escalating it means I want to win
  • MOVIE: The Gambler
  • Website: Drewdudley.com
  • Instagram: dayonedrew
  • Facebook: DayOneDrew

(01:41:59- 01:42:24)

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