This article by Dr. Srikumar Rao originally appeared on The Rao Institute.
Here is something for you to think about.
The overwhelming majority of your problems are caused by your living in a me-centered universe.
Hear me out before you start protesting. I have heard it all. You are not like that. You do not live in a me-centered universe. In fact, you live – or try to live – in an other-centered universe. You have this need to ‘give back’ to others and share the good fortune that is yours. You are always looking for ways by which you can ‘help’ others. You are seeking ways to have ‘greater impact’ on the world so you can ‘help’ many more people.
This is simply a different, slightly rarefied, form of the me-centered universe and you feel good being in it.
It is still all about you and how good you feel as you airily dispense ‘good’ the way Johnny Appleseed scatters seeds.
It is just your ego speaking.
You never ‘help’ anyone. Help comes to that person from the Universe. You just happen to be the instrument of delivery. You are like the FedEx guy. You deliver the parcel the universe has given you.
Just be grateful that you have been chosen to be the vehicle by which the help is delivered.
Be warned – it is not easy to get your ego out of the way. Thoughts like this will arise, “I did so much for her, and she did not even say ‘Thank You.’” This is a sure sign of ego involvement. Such feelings will not surface if you are truly rooted in the notion that help is happening through you and not by you or from you.
A closely allied concept is when you feel that someone has done you wrong. There are many who will tell you that you must ‘forgive’ the person and move on.
You should move on but forget all about occupying the moral high ground you need to ‘forgive’ the other person. The father did not ‘forgive’ the prodigal son for squandering his inheritance in wild living. He welcomed him back with a feast. He had forgotten all about the transgression.
Be like that. Set aside the notion that you have been wronged. It is just a story that you are telling yourself.
In an earlier blog I mention an important learning Rameshwar Das gained from his guru. Stop being the center of the universe. Be a grain of sand on a beach.
- Srikumar Rao
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