How to Bridge Generational Divides

This piece was originally published as a part of the Goodness Exchange’s Friday Newsletter. Click here to subscribe!

Did you know that this is the first time in modern history when four different generations are coming to the workplace together? People from age 16 to 86 are working as colleagues and teammates these days, having to bridge generational divides while working with people who grew up in a very different era.

On the surface, it seems like a recipe for unavoidable confusion and friction, especially given our vast differences in career expectations, tech savvy, standards in political correctness, and lived experiences. It also bears noting that multi-generational families now form 20% of U.S. households, so the same friction can come up at home.

Knowing that, how do we steer clear of the drama and unrecoverable turmoil that might feel inevitable in our multigenerational world?

My Mantra to Bridge Generational Divides

Personally, I use a simple little mantra that can decrease the bumping of heads about 90% of the time:

Change contempt to curiosity. 

I know, it sounds too simple, but following those four words as an act of consistent self-discipline can change the future, both for ourselves and for others. 

Here’s how it works: In the very instant that the reaction of someone from a different generation strikes me as “wrong” somehow, I pause for just a millisecond and reflexively give myself that one strict marching order: “Change contempt to curiosity.”

Then, no matter how angry or dumbfounded I might be, the next words out of my mouth are, “I never thought of it that way. Tell me more,” or, “That’s an interesting perspective. Tell me more.”

Then I simply listen—and I mean really listen. I listen to understand, not to get ready to say what I want to say next.

I’ve had countless opportunities to perfect my use of this mantra, both when the Goodness Exchange team ranged from 17 to 78, and when my own home became multigenerational during the pandemic (We went from two to eight people at the dinner table for three years!), and when I employ it, without fail, I will hear something that gives me the context I need to be less judgmental, and far more helpful in the moment. 

Then, if you stay curious for a few more minutes, you can almost always find a way forward that combines your strengths and far outweighs your weaknesses—a path that neither of you would have been likely to find on your own.

Plus, as a bonus, after you do this just a few times, your sincere willingness to hear more about the person’s lived experience can be the beginning of an amazing bond of trust and compassion. You could gather friends from places you never thought possible, all because of those four words.

If you are curious to learn more about the strengths of every generation, and how we can make the most of those, we have an amazing Conspiracy of Goodness Podcast episode on that: Are You the Hero, Artist, Prophet, or Nomad? Why Generational Archetypes Matter with Dr. Steven Shepard. 

Patience may be a virtue, but when we learn to listen to each other, we may find that it’s even better when it is replaced by true understanding.

Stay open, curious, and hopeful!

Dr. Lynda